Nothing has helped to drive home the necessity of living life quite like COVID. Time passes quickly and young men become old men in the blink of an eye. I want to continue to cross things off my list. With a wonderful wife, a flexible job and a supportive family, I can take dream trips.
And no other outdoor adventure has occupied more of my dreams than a big country elk hunt. I love to deer hunt and love to eat deer at least as much. And while I will be in my stand overlooking a prime area when the next whitetail rut comes around, I want to try new things. I want to put myself to the test. I want to climb mountains; I want to be cold, then soaked in sweat. I want to share with my friends an elk burger and not share with them the finer cuts.
Let’s do this. But…..do what? When? Alone? Where? Uggg. But not really. The planning of these adventures takes much more time than the actual adventure and the aggregate joy from planning always outweighs the joy of the adventure itself. One benefit of the COVID world is that it has given me a lot of slow time at work that I can use planning this trip. The downsides of COVID are many more, including too much time to plan and concern about the financial viability of a small business that specializes in court appearances and depositions. So, either I plan this trip with the assumption that life will work itself out or I emotionally shelter in place. I am picking option A. And, either I write this (whatever “this” is) or I lose my mind.
Step One- what? An Elk hunt. Not some lodge hunt with fancy breakfasts and soft beds. I want to take horses and mules deep into the mountains. I want to sleep in tents and eat food made around a campfire. I want to walk for miles and see some of the most beautiful spaces that this country has to offer. I want to be a tiny speck on a giant mountain, staring through binoculars at a bush, hoping to see it move or morph into a leg or antler. I want a guide. The thought of going in commando and “just winging it” is tempting to me. Also enticing is not getting fatally lost the first time I enter a new mountain range. I could also learn much more from a seasoned guide than I could floundering around on my own. And a guide would significantly increase my chances of bringing home an elk. While I always measure the success of a hunting or fishing adventure by factors other than dead animals, the fact is that I have recently spent a lot of time googling recipes for “Unfilled Maine Black Bear Tags” and they are few.
Step Two- when? Now would be fun. But this stuff takes time. I need time to (over)plan and save money. Also, all hell is going to break loose at work once the courthouses open back up. 2020 has been crazy enough that I don’t think I want to spend a bunch of money and see what the mountains can add to the insanity. 2021 it is. That gives me time to prepare, but is not too far away. It’s one Christmas from now. Archery elk hunts are usually in September; rifle hunts are in late October. Addie will be 18 in early October of 2021 (WHAT!?!), so I can’t miss that. Otherwise, the Fall of 2021 looks pretty clear. That is, if there is a Fall of 2021. 10 full months into 2020 and 2021 happening at all seems like a 50/50 proposition. Also, someone mentioned an election that may be occurring sometime soon. While the supporters of the election loser seem poised to burn our cities, perhaps they will leave our mountains alone. Besides, this year has shown that the West is fully capable of burning on its own, with only minimal assistance from humanity’s greatest form of conceit and hubris- the gender reveal party!
Step Three- alone? I have already ruled out really alone by wanting to use a guide. But do I want this to be solo from my end or do I want to have someone with me? It would be way more fun to have someone to plan this with, join in my excitement, share in the travel, etc. On the other hand, nothing can ruin a trip like a bad travel companion. My “friends” per Facebook are many; my “friends” I would take on a cross-country hunting trip are few. I would take my dad. He and I recently went to Maine and had a great time. This is going to be a very tough hunt, though, and I don’t know if he could hang. He would be mad at himself if he felt he was holding me back. Dad and I will continue to whack white tails together for many more years, but this hunt will be without him. I would take Brock. He would be a lot of fun on a trip like this. He would teach me about so many things that I don’t care about. We would have a great time. But it’s during the school year. It’s also really expensive, especially if I am paying for two. But most important to me, there must be things that he earns himself. I can’t give him everything or why would he work hard? Maybe if this adventure is as great as I think it will be, Brock and I can go when he graduates high school? Or college? Or medical school? Or after his first term in office? Or when he can pay for it himself? Mostly, when it’s something that he thinks about all of the time. Then we will go. Much the same for Addie. I think she would like it, but I am not sure she would love it. She would be awesome on a road trip. Someday, I really hope she decides she wants to join me in an adventure.
Then who? Unfortunately, the cost of this type of trip is prohibitive for many people who would love a trip like this. Likewise, most people can’t just take two weeks in October to go chasing animals around the mountains. Most people I like fall into both of the above categories. I have been blessed with an awesome job that has great flexibility in calendaring and allows me the opportunity to take trips like this. Sports- coaching them, playing them and parenting them also removes many people from the pool of potentials. I also don’t want to take this trip with someone who doesn’t have a thirst for the outdoors at least equal to mine. This can’t be a, “Well I have never thought about an elk hunt, but it could be fun” commitment. It has to be, “Hell yes, I want to go. Now let me just figure out how to pull it off!”
We will call him Tom. That’s not his real name- it’s Thomas. Tom was the perfect selection for this. He is an avid hunter, has talked about elk hunting before, works for a small business and would be a lot of fun on an extended trip. Two problems with Tom. First, Tom is very involved in his small business and may actually be necessary to its operation. Second, Tom and Mrs. Tom have a gaggle of small children. I correctly assumed that Tom would be stoked by the idea but would have a ton of logistical issues to work through. I am a professional problem solver- this is a challenge I accept.
I assumed the first mountain we would need to overcome in our planning would be Mrs. Tom. I had no idea how she would react to the prospects of her husband abandoning her for two weeks while she raised their tribe. I consider all of my extensive mediation, debate and analytics training and settle on wine. I shall ply Mrs. Tom with wine and present to her my well-reasoned argument on why Tom should make this journey with me. As I have not know Mrs. Tom all that long, I overlooked one key aspect. She’s awesome! As soon as I mentioned the idea to them, Mrs. Tom was adamant that Tom needed to make the trip. I put the wine away; I may need it another time. After a couple of days of soul searching, Tom confirmed that he is in. Hot damn! This is happening!
As alluded to before, there is only one way this works for me and that is because I have an awesome wife. She understands that I “need” this type of trip and that I will be a better person for having prepared for and taken it. She may inwardly consider the other things that we could have purchased with the funds from my adventures, but she never mentions them aloud. A quality rifle and comfortable boots are very important for my adventures; an understanding wife is imperative. So is good rain gear.
Let’s get to planning!
-Don